Cosmic TEMPlate
Do you believe in Karma? I wasn't sure if I did before, but I do now.
I had to concede defeat to Karma. It kicked my ass these last two days. And you know what, PARTY karma is the worst. Because it doesn't just affect you, it also affects those around you that want to go to your party.
I won't go into details as I want to protect those involved; but I will say to you that while I thought I was on top of the world in planning my birthday party, in fact, Karma was just revving up to beat me down. I'm ok now. I had a mini meltdown, or what I like to call, "a St. Elmo's Fire" moment. Things are better now.
I believe in Karma. It's one of those things you don't ever really think about until you have to take a look at your situation and wonder how things got the way they are...am I being too existential?
Well, I will leave you with this thought...tis better to have a party at a bar you love with a tribute band, then no party at all.
TEMPted
Ok. I am going to open up and confess what I have been hiding for quite sometime now.
I. Love. ABCFamily.
Seriously. I love that station. I don't know what it is for anyone else, but in my apartment it's channel 14. It is truly the best station around. I have a handful of friends whom I can speak to about the ORIGINAL ABC Family movies. But not their original programming.
Wildfire....I love you....in secret.
Beautiful People....you move me...in secret.
Well, not anymore. I am out and proud of it. I mean, have you seen 'Lucky 7?' It has PATRICK DEMPSEY in it for pete's sake! And there is this other one called 'I Want to Marry Ryan Banks.' Jason Priestley, Bradley Cooper, and Emma Caulfield...what a team! They always utilize actors that are from shows we all know and love. Emma Caulfield and Nicholas Brendon(celeste in the city...so good) are both from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jason Priestley, Brian A Green(This Time Around...amazing) obviously, both from 90210. The list goes on and on and on. You cannot imagine the talent they manage to tap for these movies.
It is a virtual who's who of 'who's that?' You know you know them, but you can't quite figure out from where. Genius.
And let me again just say that i love the original programs. Yes, it has isolated me from the rest of the world, as no one is really into talking about what Daphne Zuniga is doing on Beautiful People this week. But I don't let that stop me from tuning in every week.
Keep 'em coming, ABC Family. You know I'll be watching.
TEMPest in a teapot
So I am having a birthday party dilemma. Every year for the past three years, I have held my parties at Cabin Fever. I love that place. They do karaoke, the drinks are cheap, and they are 4 blocks from my house. Nothing better than that.
And it isn't just my birthdays. I have all kinds of parties there...the last one I held had almost 75 people throughout the night. So suffice to say, I bring in good business to them.
Anyway, so my birthday party is set for May 6th. I called the bar owner last night to confirm I could do it then and that there would be karaoke. Here is our conversation:
Gene (the owner): "Well, we have a live band scheduled at the bar that night. So that should be great for your party!"
ME: Oh, (disappointment) yeah. Um...what kind of band is it?
Gene: Well, do you know the Allman Brothers??
ME: Yeah...
Gene: They are a tribute band. They're great. They bring in great business for us.
ME: Oh, yeah. Well, Gene, let me be honest. I love live music, but the reason I love your bar so much is the karaoke. And all my friends love the karaoke as well.
Gene: Well, lets see if we can work something out. Maybe if you can guarantee 50 people, I can cancel the band.
ME: GUARANTEE?? No, sorry Gene. I want to have my party at your bar, but I can't guarantee 50 people.
Gene: You know what, Carrie. You are so great to us, we love holding your parties. If you want karaoke that night, let me call my karaoke guy and see if he's free. I'll call you tomorrow.
ME: Oh great, Gene! That's super. Thanks so much!!!
NEXT DAY
ME: (calling Gene) Hey Gene. It's Carrie. Just seeing if we are all set for the 6th.
Gene: Hey Carrie. Oh yeah, its no problem. Figure its a done deal. I'm just waiting to hear back from my karaoke guy. He is pretty flaky about getting back to me. But don't worry, if he can't do it, we'll figure something out. It'll be karaoke or the band.
ME: (pause pause) OH. So, if your guy isn't available, you are still going with the tribute band??
Gene: Yeah. So, I'll call you when I hear from him.
ME: um....ok (weak)
So thats that. I am now stuck. I can't send out my invitations yet because there is no way on god's green earth I am having my party at a bar with an ALLMAN BROTHERS TRIBUTE BAND. I hate this. More than that, I hate the thought that I will have to find a whole new bar to have my party...and the scary scary thought that there might not be karaoke.
Why does my birthday have to bring me such woes!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Temporarily Yours
So I've been remiss about writing here...basically, I am still unemployed and I didn't want to talk about it. But my good friend, Moira, told me to keep writing, if not only for her amusement, but also because there is enough comedy happening in my life to write about.
Here is a story from last Wednesday...step into my time machine and buckle up to see me make an ass of myself...
Scene: outside of Grand Central
I realize after a bit of shopping that I have to pee really badly. I figure since I am a mere two blocks away from my old job, I would call my good friend, Marla, and have her let me in so I can use the facilities. So I turn around and start to head back down 44th towards 5th Ave.
About half way, I run into a former client from my old job and he has a friend with him. We start chatting, catching up, when I tell him, "I have to pee!" He laughs and says, "I smell like beer!" So you can imagine how well our conversation is going.
As I am standing there talking to him, I am also doing what I like to call, "The Dance of a Thousand Pee-pees" where basically I just shift from one leg to the other. As I am doing this, I start to also do a little kick with my leg; just kick it back a little bit, in a very girlie way. Anyway, so I kick my right leg back and then lower it down, but as I do, I hear this RIIIIIIIIIIPPPP sound.
I turn around and the heel of my boot got caught in this woman's skirt and ripped a hole in it!!! It was awful. It was one of those skirts that has the crocheted-like material on the outside. Anyway, she was foreign and spoke with a very thick accent and said, "you rriiippppeed my skiiirrriiiit."
I was apologizing so profusely, and I kept looking back at the client and his friend, who just stood there, dumbfounded.
Eventually she started walking away, but really slowly. She would walk a bit, stop, look at the skirt, look back at me, and shake her head, and then she would start walking again.
So now I am trapped. I can't walk towards the office because I will end up catching up to her and I don't want her to yell at me anymore...BUT, now I have to pee more than ever...AND I can't even do my 'pee-pee' dance because it causes so much devastation.
Eventually the woman gets to the corner and disappears. So I say my goodbyes to the guys and move to start walking to the office. As I move, some woman rams right into me (karma, people...it exists) and I trip over to the side. I swear, I wasn't even moving when they hit me. It was like everyone else was drunk around me. Terrible
And I still feel bad about that woman's skirt. But at the same time, I think, shit happens, lady. It was an accident. Did she want me to offer to pay for the skirt? Does she know I am just a TEMP!?!?!?!?!?!
Ok, story is over. Please watch your head as you step out of the time machine. Take care
