Cold Call Manor
So part of my new job is to make cold calls to agencies and try to "pitch" our company and what we offer. That part of my new job sucks ass.
I hate making cold calls. Basically what it means is that I have to call people randomly, out of the blue, and disrupt their day with my inane sputterings about our company. The worst is that I really don't have a script to say, so I always end up stumbling and saying the wrong thing. Like yesterday, I was on the phone with a woman who I knew from my previous job, and I was starting to get somewhere with her. It was as if she had just eaten and was in a good mood, so I pressed on. Then she asked me something about rates compared to other companies. My response? "Oh. Um. Well, we have excellent rates. And a really clean kitchen with loads of food."
Ok. Not the approach I should have taken. I must have sounded like such an idiot. Seriously. Who talks like that? I was the Forrest Gump of cold calls. And while our kitchen services are great, I am sure that when she asked me about the rates, she wasn't really secretly asking about the kitchen.
Anyway, I hate doing them...so I only really do about 2-3 a day. It feels like I am a telemarketer, and lord knows how I hate them. It is such a disruption of your day, and I feel like making calls like that actually makes people hate me, instead of wanting to work with me. When will it all end???
"Hello. My name is Carrie. Let me tell you about a fantastic opportunity..."
Last Night's Lesson Plan
I am hungover at work today. Is there anything worse than that? I think not. But I have decided in my moment of rallying, that I will make it into a slightly positive thing and write about the things I have learned from my dealings last night. Please...no judgement.
1. Eat eat EAT when you drink. Not just before, and don't wait til after you get home. Stop what you are doing or saying, put down the drink, and for god's sake go and get a slice of pizza. Oh my god, will you be happy you did that in the morning. Didn't do that last night...lesson learned.
2. Don't be excited when you are handed a vodka and soda in a PINT GLASS. Seriously, this bar serves mixed drinks in pint glasses...it is overwhelming and deceptive. More so because you end up drinking it as though it was in a smaller glass. Hence, drunker faster, and you don't realize it. Didn't think about that last night...lesson learned.
3. Shots are bad. Lesson learned.
4. Doing makeup touchups in the bar bathroom is never a good idea. Firstly, the lighting is terrible no matter where you are. Secondly, and may I say more importantly, you are drunk. What makes you think you can draw a straight line on your eyelid when you can't even WALK a straight line. I didn't even ponder that for a second last night...lesson learned.
5. Don't think that just because a guy has a foreign accent that he is cute. Unfortunately, the booze doesn't help much with knowing this information. However, when the guy passes out outside the bar and can't keep his eyes open long enough for you to put him in a cab...that's when you figure it out. Didn't think about it before last night...lesson learned.
There are so many more lessons I can go into. I mean, I haven't even gotten to the cab ride home or when you are at home and feeling like you might get sick. Or the next day when you think you might die if you have to go to work. But I figure these lessons are more important for my immediate future...especially as I have another birthday party to go to tonight. Oy vey...lesson learned.
