Under Pressure...
So I am a bundle of nerves today. Long story, but the short end of it is that I have a job interview today. But this is besides the point.Why do I get so nervous??? I work myself up into a panic whenever anything even remotely confrontational happens. My palms get clammy, my heart races, and I get terrible stomach pains. All in the name of nerves.
But it isn't just confrontation that makes me this way. I think it is anticipation. Pure and simple: anticipation makes me ill. I get this way while waiting in line for a roller coaster. I get this way when I am going on a first date. I even got this way at my last job when I wanted to ask my boss for vacation time!! It is just my nature.
I just wish I could be one of those people who thrive on anticipation. Alas, I am not. I am one of those people who enjoys the 'after' moment. When all is said and done and you feel released from something. The euphoria of the anticipation wearing off.
Today will be no exception. I think once I am in the interview, I'll be fine. And then after, I will feel great. With an extra bounce in my step.
I used to be an actress, and I would always have these reactions on show days or audition days. I was always fine once I was onstage performing; but before? Oh man, I was a wreck. It's hard to imagine that some people have nervousness even worse than me. How terrible that must be to literally vomit from nerves. I haven't ever actually gotten sick from nerves, just stomach pains, thank god.
So wish me luck today. I hope it goes well...and if you see me and I have a postcoital look about me, you know I am done with the interview. Or I just had sex. Either way, you are to congratulate me.
posted by carrie @ 10:52 AM
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